Day 8, post surgery. I am not having regret per se, I’m more just over my options today. I don’t want soup, jello or instant breakfast. No grits, no yogurt. I want something filling and exciting. Eggs and toast, hash browns and sausage. It’s only been a week, so I know my system is nowhere near ready for those things. One thing the surgery doesn’t do is take the cravings away.
I can see why people go thru the “what have I done?” phase. So it’s time to be creative. Spice up my soups and find some different types of soup. My pre-op appointment is next monday, I’m praying for the green light for something delicious.
I’ve lost a lot of weight in a week. So I’m definitely not regretting this surgery. I did talk to the nurse and the fatigue is normal. The amount of intake is being used up with the smallest tasks, so I will have to do what I can when I can.
I go to school and instantly smell the aroma from the cafeteria and it reminds me how much food is around. In the morning right next to my son’s school is a bakery and the fresh breads and donuts smell wonderful. Then you have the smells of fried chicken the exude from hallways in the apartment buildings and I think, damn I can’t get away from food.
I’ve realized that It will get better with time, and soon I’ll be able to eat the food but just in moderation. So when I say I’m hungry, or I want something with substance, I’m not saying I regret anything. I’m not saying feel sorry for me. I’m simply saying, “Maaaaaannnnnnn, I want something delicious!!!!”
When I start to think about what I’d rather be eating. I start to think about being able to go to school and fitting in the desk like everyone else. I absolutely hate when I have to pull a chair up to a desk. It is so embarrassing. I think about being able to go on an airplane and not have to ask for a seatbelt extender. I remember the last time I flew in 2008 with my kids and had to ask for an extender, I was embarrassed for not only me but my kids too. And when my daughter needed to use that teeny tiny bathroom and walk down that little isle, I dreaded that walk of shame. I really look forward to the days when I can go in most stores and shop. Right now I have 3 stores. Avenue, Lane Bryant’s and Catherine’s. Every now and again, I’ll find something worth spending my money on at Ross or Marshalls. But usually those plus size tops and bottoms are so poorly made that you wear them a time or two and things just start to fall apart.
So I have a lot to look forward to in my next year or two. I know that this too shall pass.
