Do mean realize how much women do to hold down the family? Could dad’s hold us down for 24 hours? I mean seriously fill our shoes? We deal with boolshyt from all walks of life. Birds shitting on our cars, traffic being hectic, bosses on our collars, kids throwing up on us after we get dressed. We have to worry about daycare, doctor’s and dentist appointments, making sure uniforms are cleaned, permissions slips signed, homework done, checked and rechecked, dinner finished and then dude wants to turn around and want some head for a night cap. Negro are you serious???
I’ll give it to my husband. He had dinner on lock every night. But that’s because he was very particular on cleaning his meat very thoroughly, making sure he cooked things slow so he could have it falling off the bone, even if it meant we didn’t eat until 8:30 at night.
What lacked in our relationship is the constant participation on his behalf. I felt like he was more worried about what movies came out on Tuesday that he could go rent, where the nearest ”choke” man and liquor store is and what Jordan’s he could buy. He had the spontaneous Saturday daddy fever where he’d want to go do something as a family. But in my opinion to far and in between. I call him the discipliner. He’s one of those dads that have these expectation that you should only have to tell your kid once to stop doing something, how to clean something. I’m like what planet do you live on? Who only talks to their kids once and from that point on their on the straight and narrow? And he lacked the love part. No he didn’t lack the love when it came to a girl. He lacked it when it came to boys. Felt like boys didn’t need love and affection like a girl. Didn’t have the positive reinforcement. Didn’t know how to be macho, yet loving.
But I could go on forever about that dude. But my question really is in general. Can dudes hold us down? If we were to get sick for like a week. Would all hell break lose or would the dude be able to hold it down? Would the woman have major damage to repair when she got all better or could she rest peacefully knowing that her man can handle it?
I feel like my husband would lose his rabbit ass mind. His patience would be thin, he’d be needing a joint and a whole 5th, bunk a pint. He’d be short with everybody. He’d be forcing me up and at it. Or I’d just want to rescue everybody I’d cut my own illness short and hop up.
And why does MY dude, cause not all men are like this, but dude has to be hounded about shyt before he just does it. Like paying the daycare, or paying some random bill. There’s always some major discussion that turns into an argument, that turns into a nightmare, that turns into me wanting to leave his bytch ass, cause he has no problem spending mad loot on the b.s. that he wants, but when it comes to the bills and his share of the responsibility there’s a problem.
Do you know what it takes to run a house hold? Do you know that it’s not ok, to try to negotiate what you will help with and what you won’t help with? Did you know that if we share a car you need to share the bills for the car? The oil change, the gas, the insurance, the maintenance, all of that is an “us” thing, not a “me” thing. Do you know that?
Don’t come talking to me telling me that “my” tire is getting low. Or that something is wrong with “my” car. You drive it more than me. What’s your point? Handle that shyt. You could be out there pampering the car, shining the shyt out the car, so why can’t you tune up the car? I don’t get it.
And why am I always accused of trying to mother you? Or take everything you got? Or ruin your life? I don’t want to see you happy. Why wouldn’t I want to see you happy? What I really want to see is these bills paid. That everytime you get paid I get my cut. That I don’t have to play loan shark and break your freakin knee caps… That’s what I really want.
I asked home boy if I could start getting his half of daycare on a consistant basis. He got irrate and told me until he get his money handled he didn’t have anything to speak to me about. Por que? Repeata por favor?
How the hell we go from your 1/2 is $330 can I depend on you?? To until my money ain’t funny, we don’t need to talk?
This is why we’re separated now. This why I’m so done and beyond counseling.
Everything is a battle… Everything! Life ain’t fair. And neither is this marriage. I quit this bytch!
